What are the top five tips for co-parenting after a divorce? Divorces are typically difficult for everyone involved, but they are especially tough when the two parties share children. Co-parenting through a messy divorce in Jefferson County, or anywhere else, is an unavoidable obstacle that parents must face after getting divorced. When two parties co-parent, they are committing to raising their children together even though they are no longer married and live separately. This can be extremely challenging, so here are our top five tips for co-parenting after a divorce.
First, it is imperative that you communicate well with your ex-spouse. It would be a great idea if you both could set expectations regarding your communication in trying to reach an easy divorce. You should discuss how each of you prefer to be contacted and be respectful with the time of day and frequency of your communications. It is best to approach conversations calmly, so if you are upset, take some time to cool off before communicating with your ex-spouse. Try to avoid accusations and try to make requests not demands. Politely explain your point of view while also considering their point of view.
Second, you and your ex-spouse should try to avoid competing against each other. You need to approach parenting with a team-player mindset. You will only make it harder on your children if you compete over every little thing. Try to reach an agreement on things like allowances, gifts, and vacations. This way, one parent is not spoiling the children with extravagance when the other parent may not be able to do the same. You should strive to be supportive. Do not interfere with your children’s relationship with your ex-spouse.
Third, establish a routine or schedule that your ex-spouse can continue when your children are with them. This provides some stability for your children who are already adjusting to such a big change. Talk with your ex-spouse, and try to agree on homework time, bedtime, extra curriculars, chores, etc. This allows your child to know what to expect even though they are going back and forth between households.
Fourth, you and your ex-spouse should disagree in private and avoid fighting in front of your children. This way, your children will not be forced into the middle of conflict. You should also avoid talking badly about the other parent around your children. If your children are exposed to arguing and bad-mouthing, they may feel like they should not share anything with you regarding your ex-spouse and the time they spend with your ex-spouse. This could upset them, and it may make them angry or scared. Going through a divorce is always best if you have an experienced divorce attorney in Bessemer, or anywhere else, to help advise you.
Fifth, try to have an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse. Your children will be watching and listening to everything you and your ex-spouse do and speak. Try to treat co-parenting like a business partnership. You have to respect that they also have the right to parent your children. Be respectful and kind, and try to compromise and resolve issues rather than dragging them out. Do not let your personal feelings towards your ex-spouse affect your parenting and involvement in your children’s lives while you are traversing the difficult field of a contested divorce in Birmingham, Alabama. They should be able to have both parents present at important events like their sporting events, performances, graduation, wedding, etc. If you cannot be civil, you will likely be forced to divide your attendance between events, so you will be taking the opportunity of being present for your children away from yourself.
Co-parenting can be a big shock and adjustment for all involved. It is best to remember this and try to be understanding whenever issues and emotions arise. Try to keep in mind that the goal is to work together, so your children can have a close relationship with both parents.
Attorney Steven A. Harris regularly blogs in the areas of family law, bankruptcy, and real estate closings on this website. He is always available in any of the firm’s offices or by phone anytime for a consultation. Mr. Harris tries to provide informative information to the public in easily digestible formats. Hopefully you enjoyed this article and feel free to supply any feedback. We appreciate our readers and love to hear from you!